Five Films of Great Importance

This is a small batch of films that after watching, you will have a better understanding of why things are as f***ed up as they are. When you connect the dots, the picture becomes clear. Truth is stranger than fiction.

1) Money Masters: While this film is incredibly dry, and monotone, it does the best to explain the history of money in the United States; the devaluation of the dollar, etc.

2) Endgame: explains how the “conspiracy” of a one-world-government is actually a reality.

3) Thrive: This film uncovers crimes against free energy/alternative medicine and exposes the truth about corporations.

4) Food Inc: You’ll never eat the same.

Welcome Back, Prince

On my way home from work, I stopped for a six pack. I had some celebrating to do. I asked the cashier if they’d been busy tonight. He said “Not really.” Perhaps not all Tigers fans are as convinced the signing of Prince Fielder was the right move.

Let’s face it: there was no replacement for Victor Martinez, who batted .330 and knocked in 103 runs in 2011. Aside from this, Martinez provided all the support Cabrera needed to avoid breaking the single-season record for intentional walks.

Torn ACL.

Instantly, Tigers fans are bowing their heads and murmuring “Not this again.” After a 2006 World Series berth, Detroit spent the next few years struggling to keep up in their own division.

Replacements aside, Prince Fielder is coming to Detroit and we’re glad to have him. The reason for the lack of pessimism: Prince Fielder – a guy who can hit 30-50 home runs, drive in at least a hundred runs, and sell a lot of jerseys. The Yankees and Red Sox nations are used to big signings. Detroit is not. The prodigal son returns.

Tigers owner Mike Ilitch has never been shy about his desire to win it all. This has been proven today.

For now, it’s a time to forget about the fact this is the fourth biggest contract in baseball history. Let’s talk about Fielder’s dwindling years when they come. Let’s cross that bridge when we arrive at it.

Excuse me, I have a beer with my name on it.

Fire

To be honest, I can’t remember it ever panning out. There is always someone striking out in the back of the mind. Always a guy hitting .187 in there. Always a guy letting routine ground balls go past. Always a Billy Buckner. Always a Jim Joyce. Always someone’s fault. Let me give you an example. My brother says “All you need is an intake and an exhaust” if you want to grill indoors but by the time he told me this, I’d burned an apartment down. I already burned an apartment down. I burned my apartment down, nearly killing several others. I came back from the bank and they were all standing out in front of my smoldering apartment, happy to have their lives in their hands. None of them looked at me. It was one of those warm winter days. The sun thawing everything for a few hours. But, I went to the bank and came back to a burning room. None of them looked at me. They stood across the street and looked at me. I tried to run into the apartment but a fireguy stopped me. They stood on the curb and watched my apartment burn. The fireguys stopped it from spreading to others’ apartments, but I understand, they were mad at me for nearly killing them all. I nearly killed them all. One of them even came downstairs and knocked on my door while I was out, at the bank. One of them tried to save my life. I went to the bank, and I lit part of that big house on fire. I had the keys. I had a mailbox. I had sex with maybe two or three women in that apartment. I had a good time in there. I ate, a lot of food in there. I broke up with her in there. Two goldfish were lost in the fire. Pete and Gus. They are dead. The insurance guy met me in the park and gave me a dirty look. He followed my car to the burnt place and we went inside. I opened the door and we walked in, then he gave me a different look. He apologized. He was wrong to apologize. He was blowing a call. He worked for the insurance company. Two years ago I was not doing anything. Today I am having a small glass of sweet vermouth with ice.

US out of Iran

If the United States engages Iran in any way (which is looking like an inevitability) I will have lost all faith in my government, all hope in peace, and all confidence the United Nations. Wait a minute, I never had confidence in the UN. All it has done is looked pretty – been a nice building for the establishment bimbos to fix their pocket-squares and pander to their multinational masters. I’m done with all of it. You men sicken me. You don’t even look like leaders. And now you’re saying Iran is next? Sanctions lead to war. The American people have lost their way and the United Nations is leading the US and Israel into Iran like a cat into a paper bag.

photo Steven Anderson

Our own National Intelligence Estimate of 2007 states “We assess with moderate confidence Tehran had not restarted its nuclear weapons program as of mid-2007, but we do not know whether it currently intends to develop nuclear weapons.” If one reads this three-page load of contradictions and uncertainties, one finds that the estimate would’ve done better if it read: “We have no idea what is going on in Iran, at all. Hehe. Pass me a lollipop.”

Truth is, we have nukes. Israel has nukes. I want to know at which point it became reasonable for several countries (with a track record for aggression) were allowed to maintain nuclear weapons and some countries (with much less aggressive pasts) were not. It’s true Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Israel should be “wiped off the map” but as far as anyone knows, the only country in the Middle East capable of wiping their neighbors off the map happens to be Israel. Where are the sanctions on them? What about Russia? Why don’t we sanction ourselves?

How have we remained so damn dumb? It’s 2012 and we’re still bombing people. Bomb them, then rebuild the roads and schools with money we don’t have. Station troops in countries that don’t have a single tank. There’s nothing right about it. We have bums all over the place. Schools in Detroit have caved-in ceilings and we’re spending twenty billion taxpayer dollars to air condition our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. And now, war with Iran is being casually stuffed down our throats by the government-friendly mainstream-media. They’re making it seem like it’s the right thing to do, just like they did with Iraq.

In America, it’s playoff time for the NFL and fans who didn’t know they were fans will get behind a team. People will become enamored with an idea and forget about everything else, because that’s what Americans do. We’re allowed to because we fought for the right to do it. We fought for the right to spend Sunday doing nothing but eating, drinking and watching  athletes move a ball from one end of a field to the other. I’m watching football right now, and cherishing it. But, I’m worried that my government is directly responsible for making it so a lot of people can’t do anything remotely similar to plopping into a lazy-boy with a bowl of guacamole in their lap, remote in hand, set to spend the day watching TV. It’s nice once in a while, isn’t it?

We didn’t “invade for freedom” or “occupy for the right to vote.” We fought for it.

I’m tired of my government bombing, threatening, harassing, crippling, disenfranchising other nations. Don’t tell me about spreading liberty. The best way to spread liberty is leave other people alone. What ever happened to letting countries settle their own disputes. Sometimes, Jimmy and Bobby have to fight it out in the field. Big Uncle Sam need not intervene, every time.

If Iran builds a nuke, fine. We’ll have approximately 7,999 more than they do. And, Israel will have anywhere from 80-500 more. So, let Iran have their nukes, like the world let us have ours. Buy them a baby-blanket with a radioactive symbol embroidered on it, a box of cigars and a greeting card.

Using nuclear weapons as a form of dark currency is old-thinking. I’m tired of it and I want my government to stop pretending it’s okay. A culture of peace is missing. Enlightened people don’t retaliate when threatened.

10 Great Blog Topics to Get You Started

To get you started in 2012, here is a list of great blog-topics to get you started on your terrible, uninspiring blogspot or WordPress blog.

1) Write about a trip somewhere. Did you go to Florida for spring break, or did you go to Cedar Point with your cousins? Write about it. Everybody likes hearing a nice story about getting drunk, throwing up, and passing out on the beach with your pants around your ankles, or munching on elephant ears in Sandusky, Ohio.

2) Write a profile piece on your grandmother or grandfather. Some great titles for this: “Grandpa’s Hands”, “Grandma’s Hands”, “Grandpa’s Love”, “Grandma’s Love”

3) Write about your favorite song. Everyone has a favorite song, from The Eagles’ “Peaceful Easy Feeling” to Lady Gaga’s “Gag Me With Your Zircon-Encrusted Tweezers” there are millions of songs that your readers will love to hear you blab about. Don’t be afraid to type out entire verses so your readers can read them and remember exactly which song you are talking about! For an added touch,  make a youtube video of yourself dancing to the song, or singing along.

4) Write about your most recent heartbreak. For gals: try to write a minimum of 1500 words and include words like “passion”, “desire” and “heartache” as often as possible. For guys: don’t be afraid to include phone-pics of the bitch who left you and do your best to include the name/names of the douche-bags she’s sleeping with. NOTE: It’s always best to write a heartbreak or breakup blog IMMEDIATELY after the breakup.

5) Lists! Lists are great ways to fill space on your blog. Here are some ideas for lists:

  • books you are going to read (this always makes you look smart!)
  • your favorite foods (try to include foods with French names like baguette)
  • things you hate about yourself
  • things you hate about everybody else

6) Pics! Free up all that space on your phone by uploading a gallery of phone pics. The more random the better.

7) How-to: people often go to the web to get instructions for things. Blogging on How-to topics will generate traffic to your site. Here are some examples: how to set up a tent, proper way to brush your teeth, how to cook an omelette, how to punch someone so they will stop breathing.

8 ) Poetry: for dozens of years, people have been writing short lines to express themselves. Poems can be about anything and the best part is they don’t have to make sense. Here’s an example from a great blog called Free Poems:

I Light My Way

You know that I,

Couldn’t find my way back home,

Set in stone,

All that went wrong,

Oh child,

Carry on.

But I pray,

To myself,

To find another,

Reason to touch life,

Alone on a lost road,

Alone on a lost road,

I light my way,

I light my way.

- by: George Sivetidis

9) Anything, so long as it is really, really fucking long. Long blogs will grab attention, no matter what the topic is. Long blog posts make readers feel as though you’ve spent a lot of time working on it which in turn makes your audience take you more seriously. Some ideas for long-blog topics include:

  • Sailing: (Sailing is romantic. So many great pieces of shitty writing revolve around being at-sea. This works even if you’ve never been on a sailboat, or any other kind of boat.)
  • Your education: this works especially well if you have a college degree in something and feel as though you didn’t learn a fucking thing. People love hearing stories about people who wasted tens-of-thousands of dollars.
  • Why no one reads your blog: your readers (as much as they won’t admit it) love hearing you weep over yourself. They love hearing your pity-parties about how you’ve only had ten hits in the last day and how you’re wondering why you even do this shit. Be sure to include a list of blogs you like so your readers with think similarly of your blog.

10) Plagiarize: when all else fails, think of something you’d like to write about but either don’t have the balls or time to write about. Copy news articles, opinion pieces, interviews, and paste them right into your blog! Don’t forget to include the author’s name somewhere at the bottom of the page.

Blogging can be one of the most enjoyable and rewarding hobbies, if you keep your ideas fresh. I hope this list of ideas gives you some inspiration. Start blogging!